久违啦朋友们，断更两年后，我回来了！

现在该怎么介绍自己呢？神经科学博士毕业这已经是过去时了，如今是身心学探索者，同时也在和朋友一起做AI绘画与心理健康方面的创业项目。这是我现在最专注在做的事，道路是迷茫的，但是心是更安定了。

什么是费登奎斯身心方法，我在播客第10期和一位纽约的资深老师Marylin Bakun聊过，简单说是通过有觉知的动作来了解自己身体的惯性，学习新的可能。当然在和陈泉的对谈中我们会提到更多这个方法带给我们的改变。两年前的时候我还是模糊的爱好者，现在我则把以费登奎斯方法为代表的身心学，看作我未来最想要发展的方向。

欢迎给我留言，提问你对这个领域感兴趣的问题，以及你在寻路过程中有什么想要分享的。

如果你是我的老听众，也想问问你，你觉得这次对谈中听到的我和从前有什么不一样了吗？

0-10‘58’‘ 「什么带你踏上了费登奎斯之路？」

11‘ – 19‘41’‘「‘那令我难以忍受的无聊’。可什么是无聊呢？」

19‘43’‘ – 24‘50’‘   「好奇地、不带评判地观看。何为接纳？成熟是你有更多的选择」
24‘50’‘ – 42‘13‘’「接纳与改变如何相融？情绪性饮食 ‘当我感觉，我没有其它办法’」

42‘15’‘- 43‘15’‘ 「motion 移动之中，️云朵般的情绪、念头」

43‘30’‘ – 48’09‘’「学习如何失败；“我发现‘懒’的背后，是不相信自己。”」
48‘09’‘ -50‘40‘’ 「准确 – 给自己空间去观察；是好玩的，不是唯一的」

50‘40’‘ – 尾声 「道别」

陈泉：在美国州立大学里教过书，在国内互联网公司码过课，在商业地产行业谈过楼，可怎么着都觉得空心。直到有一天，被最喜欢的播客主问 “Who are you without the doing?” 问倒。于是，离开全职工作，各种边接零活，边探索。现在做着令自己心满意足的身心关系、创伤知情、情绪教育工作。我和枝蔚一样，也是费登奎斯第三年在学。

陈泉的公众号：分身EmbodiedLiving

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最近我的寻路之旅暂时停顿了，预计九月之后重启。聊聊为什么暂停探索，目前的职业计划（或者职业无计划），以及最近工作之外的主要生活动力。

提到的一些小众研究方向指南：

Action Research:

https://actionresearchplus.com/

Mindful Researchers:

https://www.contemplativecollaboration.org/initiatives/mindful-researchers/

Life Improvement Science:

https://www.life-improvement.science/life-improvement-science

We will resume hopefully after September when I get my PhD done!

Campfire Sound Effect from Hadwin Channel @ Youtube

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和人类学博士生尹雨婷聊天的第二期，很开心上一期与雨婷的对谈有很多朋友喜欢。最近我的人生观价值观又清晰了一层，也能在这期播客里听到。

0:22 和听友聊：我希望这个播客与你的关系

5:46 为什么人类学不仅是社会科学，还得搞艺术

9:42 想设计一门触动人心灵的课程，让人能在生命中不断地练习

18:19 知识只限于头脑是一种现代的观念，古人可不这么觉得

23:36 规范的学术生产像高雅艺术，但只做阳春白雪会让我有点良心不安。

28:48 走出“和劳动人民打成一片”的精英阶层幻想

34:44 从见天地到见众生的旅程；从精神病院到河南农村灵媒研究

41:57 社恐能成为好的人类学家吗？什么是好的人类学研究呢？

46:10 研究中国生态村：并非消费主义的田园想象

54:34 什么人会来到生态村：奇人两则

58:43 生活就是田野（逼自己去做奢侈品公关是什么样的体验）

1:02:21 经过探索后终于能安心地接受学术象牙塔的庇护

1:06:23 希望我的论文能让人感到自己正在生态村中；跨越知识，进入潜意识

1:10:41 总结：我现在思考未来方向的框架（请正常倍速收听）

书单和资源：

Action Research: https://actionresearchplus.com

提到的雨婷的人类学家导师：Joe Dumit (http://dumit.net/), Alan Klima (https://anthropology.ucdavis.edu/people/klima)

关于师生关系/亲密关系的书：Eros/Power: Love in the Spirit of Inquiry Paperback

关于河南灵媒的研究：A Time of Lost Gods: Mediumship, Madness, and the Ghost after Mao

Tim Ferris ft Richard Schwartz: internal family system. https://tim.blog/2021/01/15/richard-schwartz-internal-family-systems-transcript/

Credits:

cover picture: Daniel Oberg @ unsplash

intro music：

Jellyfish in Space by Kevin MacLeod

Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3938-jellyfish-in-space

License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

outro music：

Healing by Kevin MacLeod

Link: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/3860-healing

License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

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这期嘉宾是正在美国UC Davis读人类学博士的尹雨婷，她极大地更新了我对人类学的固有认识，点燃了我的热情。我在她身上第一次感受到了博士研究的学科与研究之外作为一个人的生活，两者之间并不割裂的联系，她的人和她的研究让我感觉浑然一体。

我也从来没有认真地谈论鬼怪幽灵这些话题，这和我日常的生活与思想都相距甚远。而这次我的进入是成功还是失败呢？我也想知道你的结论。

2:28 为了寻找人生意义，转行人类学？与朋友间的对话也充满人类学口味
11:17 人类学家研究暴食症和心理学家有何不同？跳大神和信基督也能治疗暴食症？
18:02 人类学很符合我边缘化的“人设”：对亲情、友情、人情，都不视之为理所当然
25:33 医学人类学：为什么“治疗精神疾病”是一件需要被辩护的事？暴食症真的一个人出了问题，还是环境的问题？
31:10 写硕士论文顺便治愈我的暴食（以及别人的）
34:38 突然聊起了三观，宗教的开放性和共通性，以及人生的终极目的
37:28 一次“觉醒”，什么是觉醒，觉知的日常练习。
44:32 改变自己的几种可能模式
47:59 作为冒险家和捣蛋鬼的人类学家们；黑历史与学科范式变化
52:48 人类学家更像艺术家：知识、客观被瓦解，隐藏的心灵和鬼怪被捕捉
57:59 我的导师能通灵？“鬼啊，你想叫我就叫我好了“
1:02:37 和田鼠与面包说话，以及为何选择不唯物地看待生活？（和逆天改命无关）
1:13:18 为什么尊敬我的导师？
1:14:23 田野里需要开放的心态，做科学的习惯让我很没耐心
1:17:50 另一种生活方式：接受无形无相之存在，于你我的交流中

music:

Slow Heat by Kevin MacLeodLink: https://incompetech.filmmusic.io/song/4373-slow-heat License: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

cover photo: Elia Pellegrini @ unsplash

书单和资源：

Ng, Emily. 2020.A Time of Lost Gods: Mediumship, Madness, and the Ghost after Mao. First edition. Oakland, California: University of California Press.

Mauss, Marcel. [1950] 2000.The Gift: The Form and Reason for Exchange in Archaic Societies. Translated by W. D. Halls. New York: W. W. Norton & Company.

Young, Allan. 1997.The Harmony of Illusions: Inventing Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. 1 edition. Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press.

Foucault, Michel. [1965]1988.Madness and Civilization: A History of Insanity in the Age of Reason. 1st edition. New York: Vintage.

Adyashanti. 2009.The End of Your World: Uncensored Straight Talk on the Nature of Enlightenment. 1st edition. Boulder, Colo: Sounds True

Levi-Strauss, Claude. [1955] 1992.Tristes Tropiques. Translated by John Weightman and Doreen Weightman. Reprint edition. New York, N.Y., U.S.A: Penguin.

马林诺斯斯基的“日记”事件大致可以参考这个维基百科词条：https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Diary_in_the_Strict_Sense_of_the_Term

Clifford, James, and George E. Marcus. 1986.Writing Culture: The Poetics and Politics of Ethnography. University of California Press.

Klima, Alan. 2019.Ethnography #9. Illustrated edition. Durham: Duke University Press Books. Open Access: https://library.oapen.org/handle/20.500.12657/22289

Favret-Saada, Jeanne. 1981.Deadly Words: Witchcraft in the Bocage. Translated by Catherine Cullen. Reissue edition. Cambridge Eng.: Cambridge University Press.

�打坐网站：By Alan Klima: https://meditationforest.com/ 这个网站现在暂时不太活跃了

By Marlies Cocheret: https://www.marliescocheret.com/ 职业meditation teacher,依然活跃。

写作网站：https://academicmuse.org/

其他：Joe Dumit website: https://dumit.net/

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我一直对主流的“去大厂、赚大钱”之类职业道路心存疑虑，唯一感到诱惑的是一件事：如果能高薪工作、早早存钱、财务自由、提前退休，这样是不是人生会很棒？

于是我请到了同一栋楼的邻居Evan，一个前亚马逊/谷歌程序员，28岁实现退休。我们谈到关于如何实现这件事的具体细节，但我更关注的还是，年纪轻轻地退休了，生活会更快乐吗？失去职业头衔后如何定位自己在社会和人世的身份？还能保持个人的成长吗？非常感谢Evan坦诚且走心的分享，在聊完后我也对自己是否会选择这条路有了一个答案。

I’ve heard so many fellow neuroscience PhD graduates working in those companies saying how this life can become much better in tech companies than in PhD but I always feel a bit resistant to that idea. But one argument I felt hard to resist is: that I will be able to secure a large chunk of money then retire early and then, my life will be free of any concerns.

So in this episode, I invited Evan who is a housemate in the same community house (reference: episode 14). He retired at 28 years old after working for Amazon and Google as a programmer. We talked about the technical "how-to"s,  but also about happiness, the meaning of life, and personal growth? I’m very grateful that Evan gave a comprehensive and honest share of his experience of early retirement.

2:14 Life before retirement: how to spend all those money that a programmer can earn?

8:03  Why saving money is natural: living, housing, traveling
12:17  Don’t you need money to buy the newest iphone?
15:29  Financial and mental preparation for retirement: how to feel safe?
19:53  How to not feel bored after retirement?
25:28  tricks in explain to family and friends about retirement
29:44  how to define my identity and value if it’s not by my career?
33:56  the fact that I have so much spare time but not doing sth that changes the world
41:05  what’s your best possible contribution to society? and problems with effective altruism
46:39  Period of feeling meaningless, depression, and loss of goal
55:27  How is social life and collaboration possible after retirement?
1:01:47  Don’t want to become a provider for the sole purpose of having marriage and kids
1:07:30  A high-level summary: the real mental preparation is to be yourself
1:11:11 Biggest personal growth: the journey with social anxiety
1:17:09 How much money is enough for retirement? The calculation and the unexpected

Cover photo: Boba Jovanovic on Unsplash

Music: Ryini Beats (GuitarAcoustic guitar instrumental beat 2019 15)

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青年共居是一种居住方式，从十几人到百来号人住在同一栋楼里，有定期的社群活动，帮你在陌生城市里拥有亲密的“邻里关系”。本期嘉宾Ben Smith就是一个纽约的共居社群goalhouse的创始者，也是一个视频博主，一个被两个爸爸从中国收养的男孩。

This time we have Ben Smith, the founder of a communal house in Brooklyn called goalhouse (https://www.goalhousenyc.com/). It’s also where I lived for 6 months and appreciated it deeply. We talked about how to start a communal house and what the challenges are in running it. Ben called himself a community builder and recognized the house as a business project but also more of a lifestyle project. He also shared why he became a Youtuber and what’s his mission behind.

Goalhouse: https://www.goalhousenyc.com/
Ben’s youtube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuhYY6pRn2V-z4lqsiXipMA
His vlog on his dad’s gay wedding: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RpFy-E0h4_o&t=30s&ab_channel=BecomingBenSmith

4:10 inspired by European hostels: physical space is the catalyst of bringing people together
7:26 start of the coliving career: target, attack!
11:13 first iteration of goalhouse: talk about weekly goals with housemates on the dinner table.
15:44 real "goal" of goalhouse: being present in the community.
18:59 the essence is to move in with good intentionality then serendipity will make things happen
20:46 when social anxiety meets coliving: am I ready for this?
24:18 the proudest thing is people make friends here, even if it’s not life long.
27:15 coliving in the covid time: risk and responsibility on an individual level
29:24  the official introduction to Goalhouse @ NYC, plus the famous sunday dinner
31:56  the business side: a building managing company rather than a start-up
33:28  what’s the optimal size of coliving house? And the story of taking up this building.
36:31  I’m your friend but I also manage your house.
39:15  the goal house way approaching the famous dishing problem; what is different from college dormitory.
43:43  It’s not a business to be scaled up. It’s my lifestyle.
45:43  beginner’s guide to start a coliving without big initial investment
49:38  when is the best time to start recruiting residents
51:23  why would people trust you to move in? 
53:30  the psychological mechanism for patiently resolving roommate disputes, with another dish example.
1:01:14  longer-term communal living?
1:03:22  becoming a YouTuber for another kind of connection
1:08:48 people who commented hate speeches may be the people to be changed; good and bad lives in balance.
1:14:59 high school story: using a learner mindset towards hatred
1:22:56 why is it so hard to make Ben angry? The upbringing story.
1:27:08 best YouTubers are the most authentic ones.
1:31:27 Goal of 2021

intro music: Midnight by Ikson
outro music: Run by Oakstudio
cover pic: ihor malytskyi from unsplash

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2021你好！这期嘉宾和上期一样，依然是我本科的室友，现在在瑞士读物理博士的李思尘。漫聊了三大话题：物理博士理想与现实的差距；拖延症患者如何自处；以及，所谓关心更广阔的世界，这件事本身的动力何在。

没什么结论，边聊天边疯狂反思。

如果有什么触动到你，很荣幸，欢迎关注微信公众号“自我与人类观察站”或者在小宇宙等博客平台与我分享。

结尾音乐：孤单（作曲：徐涵剑，编曲：李思尘）

封面图by i-am nah@unsplash

0:51 研究粒子加速器实际上不能满足智识上的追求

5:46物理博士转行去干嘛？对精致的生活的隐秘向往

9:23某些学科的博士并不能自由科研；毫无希望时，最需要一个乐观的伙伴

17:09时间管理讨论：拖延症是一种价值判断偏差的信号；“独立自主”反而造成低效

27:24 从刷手机到回归工作状态的三步；零食欲望作为能量状态的指标

33:42 工作带给我40%的快乐，我就用40%的时间去工作；空虚状态或创作是怎么转换的？

39:52 不要陷入“逼迫自己”的被动状态；什么是我们最想养成的生活习惯？

44:24 “学霸/做题家”在方法论上缺了什么？“物理至上主义者”曾对职业选择有何误解？

49:42 “拓宽视野”：不是竞赛，随着生活慢慢来就好。想了解世界是因为自己不舒服

54:18 效率至上的价值观有啥问题？以什么理由邀你吃饭最尊重？

57:44 不知怎么聊起了我们对“扶贫”和“农村发展”的浅见，以及改变世界的雄心

1:03:48结尾（不讲逻辑，只谈真心）

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不知不觉已经做了三个月播客啦，今天这期播客是个小总结，我和我的大学上铺的室友李思尘一起，聊聊我目前寻路的进展。思尘是目前在瑞士读加速器方向的物理博士生，跟我一样也是迷惘青年一枚，她的故事会在下期讲述。感谢你收听迷惘青年寻路记2020年的最后一期！

互动留言可以到小宇宙等播客平台，或者微信公众号“自我与人类观察站“。墙外的朋友可以去anchor.fm/365path 给我语音留言。

1:11 为什么用播客的形式来探索自己的迷茫？

4:53 找嘉宾时如何克服社交恐惧？怎么能够进行双方都舒服的谈话？

9:35 迷茫有所缓解了吗？未来干嘛有着落了吗？

19:37 想观察、想参与不同的生活，又想用科技去创造

24:55 科技提高全人类的工作效率？AI伦理是杞人忧天的讨论吗？

31:26 怎么在聊天中提出好问题？物理研究中的思维也可以用在生活中啊

34:31 怎么不用逻辑地提出好问题

音乐：Crazy（作曲：徐涵剑，编曲：李思尘）

封面图 by Will Truettner @ unsplash

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本期嘉宾是美国宾大社会学系博士夕岸。如果你很关注美国社会政治新闻，你可能看到过这个名字出现在许多评论文章和讲座里。我也是忠实读者之一啦，借夕岸的视角了解了比如美国种族运动的历史、拉丁裔为什么会支持特朗普等等问题。但是我觉得夕岸最独特的点在于，研究者和行动者这两个身份的统一。我对此很向往但也完全不知道怎么做到，纯靠一腔热血吗？

这次虽然我们从夕岸当前研究的游戏劳工开始谈起，好像离我很遥远，但在夕岸看来，游戏代练、电竞主播与博士研究生之间其实也没那么不同，关心“远方”的他们，其实也在帮助自己。感谢夕岸传递给了我非常平和、朴素的力量，一种打破割裂的联结感。

查看更多夕岸的文章可以去往这个博客：https://gravitysworm.com/

聊天中提到的美国科技劳工维权资料库，现在升级成网站了：Collective action in tech https://collectiveaction.tech/

本期配乐：Arcade machine by 夕岸

封面图：Tarik Haiga @ unsplash

3:35 聚光灯之外的几千万游戏劳工：他们从哪里来？入行背后的社会变化？ 

11:44 研究者会与游戏主播们成为朋友吗？如何发现隐藏行业内幕？ 

14:36 为什么要研究游戏劳工？你能帮助他们改善窘境吗？ 

19:51 如何走上劳工研究之路；对美国学术圈子的幻灭：精英化、本土化、对社会抵抗的单一想象 

28:07  在美国看到的日常组织实践：码农的抗议运动 

32:57  做学者而非直接行动者：多重掣肘 

35:37  不想被身份标签框定研究视野：“不要什么都拐到中国问题上去，这可能是全球的问题” 

38:42  细节地观察社会群体内部，其实会带来更多希望 

41:46  “稳定安全的世界”作为一种幻想；疫情中，研究生与学校的斗法 

46:51  博士生自掏腰包做田野，当家教亲身体验零工辛酸 

52:31  未来会留在学术界吗？不想把学者与社会参与者的身份分离。 

54:33  未来送外卖也没问题呀还能锻炼身体。不必自责，零工化是社会趋势，生活的意义不来源于工作。 

59:29  生活在人群中却没有社群？努力关注身在现场的新闻。 

1:05:11 研究”底层“的动力？受不了“精英”们的优越感；不觉得与教育程度低的人无法对话 

1:11:06 做什么能够真正帮到劳工维权？美国社会运动既成熟也官僚化，更感兴趣观察新的可能 

1:14:14 没那么严肃！生活娱乐和公共话题之间并没有界限。 

1:18:01 游戏主播们会研究冥想和做饭吗？夕岸说会帮我问问！

1:20:06 总结：就承认自己是研究者但也是社会行动的参与者，而这一切的行动和对话，也不必带着宏大的拯救世界的目标。下一步，叫田野调查，叫打工赚钱，叫生存技能培训，都可以。

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一直向身边人疯狂安利费登奎斯训练，因为我真的很喜欢这种身体学习的方式，喜欢到希望能自己也成为费登奎斯教练。于是决定坐下来认真和这个职业中的人们谈谈，这是第一期，请到了我自己的启蒙教练，75岁的Marilyn Bakun。

I love learning about my body. One of my wildest dreams after graduation is to work as a Feldenkrais Coach. In this episode I invited my own Feldenkrais teacher in new york, Marilyn Bakun, to share with me her journey of becoming a Feldenkrais practitioner at the age of 55 and, along the way, keeping the curiosity and learning to trust oneself.

Related research about Feldenkrais: https://feldenkrais.com/research-2/

Some of the books by Moshe Feldenkrais:

Awareness Through Movement: Easy-to-Do Health Exercises to Improve Your Posture, Vision, Imagination, and Personal Awareness

https://www.amazon.com/Awareness-Through-Movement-Easy-Do/dp/0062503227/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=moshe+feldenkrais&qid=1607820246&sr=8-1

The Elusive Obvious: The Convergence of Movement, Neuroplasticity, and Health

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07FZLNRRY/ref=dbs_a_def_rwt_hsch_vapi_tkin_p1_i0

online Feldenkrais videos you could follow: Feldenkrais with Alfons 

https://www.youtube.com/user/2stunden

2:13 What is feldenkrais? A somantic experience. A way to be yourself.

4:54 A 1 minute demonstration of Feldenkrais (stand up and do with us!)

10:35 a reflection on this 5-minute Feldenkrais training. When you are tired, your brain won’t learn.

14:10 The journey to become a feldenkrais instructor starting from the age of 55 and how does the government job enlightens the understanding of feldenkrais.

17:51 What is hands-on work in Feldenkrais and how’s that different from massage?

24:36 This work is too good. I have to be an instructor to share it.

28:01 The story of Moishe Feldenkrais as the founder: Judo, knee injury, baby’s move and unorthodox exploration.

34:55 Mental revolution: stop asking why, starting to trust myself.

37:37 Start of being an instructor: the confusions and challenges

40:20 Instructors’ community support

43:08 Removing pain at my 60s when most people think your body will only deteriorate at this age.

45:09 "no pain no gain" doesn’t really apply to Feldenkrais. The good measure of life is resiliency.

46:18 Am I, a graduate student never studied in related field, in a disadvantageous position to become a Feldenkais instructor? Again there’s so much individuality.

49:31 How to find students?

51:10 Generational shift? Why is Feldenkrais not becoming more popular in the recent years?

55:23 Feldenkrais versus going to the gym, which is harder? They should actually be combined.

01:01:21 Other hotspots of Feldenkrais around the globe? And how different medical care systems plays in the role.

01:03:45 Time commitment in the training.

01:04:48 What kind of scientific research about Feldenkrais do you wish to see?

01:05:58 Alternative paths to body exploration? Feldenkrais as an ever going on journey.

Music: Bedtime Stories by Ross Bugden(@rossbugden)

Cover photo: Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash

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